If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.