i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.