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dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
He is an equal opportunity slut.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
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