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Last Night in Missouri (816)

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dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine

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(816): dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine http://tfl.nu/klxs

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Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina

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(816): Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina http://tfl.nu/2dpv

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He is an equal opportunity slut.

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(816): He is an equal opportunity slut. http://tfl.nu/40gq

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if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.

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(816): if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin. http://tfl.nu/cu5c

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you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.

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(816): you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell. http://tfl.nu/74j4

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YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!

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(816): YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!! http://tfl.nu/o3fb

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normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me

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(816): normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me http://tfl.nu/ze3z

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I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants

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(816): I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants http://tfl.nu/4wl5

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I miss Bob Barker.

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Yeah, more like Douche Carey...

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(816): I miss Bob Barker. (808): Yeah, more like Douche Carey... http://tfl.nu/37q6

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So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?

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Most never. Some around 65.

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(314): So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title? (816): Most never. Some around 65. http://tfl.nu/dvz5

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I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless

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(816): I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless http://tfl.nu/8o2w

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i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants

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(816): i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants http://tfl.nu/4te8

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I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.

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(816): I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins. http://tfl.nu/76g5

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FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...

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(816): FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine... http://tfl.nu/7ts7

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Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.

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(816): Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth. http://tfl.nu/la0a

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Last Night in Missouri (816)

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