They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.