You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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