The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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