I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.