Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about