I'm going to rape someone's good day.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.