Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks