it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
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Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
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I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.