I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.