Texts From Last Night

Last Night in California (818)

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  (818): View more from California

  My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.

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  (818): My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert. http://tfl.nu/ehir
  Replies (38) Good night (1439) Bad night (3507) Order T-Shirt
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  I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.

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  (818): I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand. http://tfl.nu/hyhy
  Replies (9) Good night (647) Bad night (2235) Order T-Shirt
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  Its about making memories worth repressing

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  (818): Its about making memories worth repressing http://tfl.nu/5fiw
  Replies (1) Good night (2601) Bad night (494) Order T-Shirt
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  I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.

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  (818): I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever. http://tfl.nu/1b0y
  Replies (57) Good night (1170) Bad night (7240)
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  (818): View more from California

  Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?

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  (818): Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me? http://tfl.nu/awe5
  Replies (45) Good night (2177) Bad night (830) Order T-Shirt
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  I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.

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  (818): I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off. http://tfl.nu/7sly
  Replies (27) Good night (477) Bad night (3965) Order T-Shirt
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  It's like a parade of train wrecks.

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  (818): It's like a parade of train wrecks. http://tfl.nu/4fe9
  Replies (22) Good night (795) Bad night (1824) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?

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  (818): So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God? http://tfl.nu/oozc
  Replies (91) Good night (4938) Bad night (734) Order T-Shirt
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  You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.

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  (818): You can't hide fat with big sunglasses. http://tfl.nu/r8gr
  Replies (46) Good night (740) Bad night (2933) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night

  (334): View more from Alabama

  I felt like a fucking code breaker.

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  (818): Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night (334): I felt like a fucking code breaker. http://tfl.nu/6jh7
  Replies (17) Good night (5257) Bad night (496)
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  (818): View more from California

  Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"

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  (818): Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny" http://tfl.nu/i2md
  Replies (14) Good night (2722) Bad night (607) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.

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  (818): Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square. http://tfl.nu/gdo6
  Replies (24) Good night (2893) Bad night (400) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Heaven soaked bacon.

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  (818): i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like. (615): Heaven soaked bacon. http://tfl.nu/85uv
  Replies (63) Good night (3994) Bad night (738)
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  (818): View more from California

  thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)

  (661): View more from California

  should have blown me.

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  (818): thank you for a lively/lovely evening :) (661): should have blown me. http://tfl.nu/rnof
  Replies (50) Good night (775) Bad night (3863)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.

  (818): View more from California

  Punch her baby.

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  (314): There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me. (818): Punch her baby. http://tfl.nu/ve2m
  Replies (59) Good night (6263) Bad night (862)