What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
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Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
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Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?