All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
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Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
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She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.