the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night