His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.