Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".