Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I'm jealous of your bromance
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight