So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.