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Last Night in Maryland (443)

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I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.

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(443): I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans. http://tfl.nu/20x0

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can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd

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wasted?

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im pocohantasssss

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(410): can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd (443): wasted? (410): im pocohantasssss http://tfl.nu/gql6

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apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.

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(443): apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar. http://tfl.nu/z209

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So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka

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(443): So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka http://tfl.nu/4spi

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There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.

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(443): There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers. http://tfl.nu/zfa6

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My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT

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(443): My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT http://tfl.nu/f0p2

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party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there

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(443): party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there http://tfl.nu/5lco

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This is evicking siegelnvs

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Im sorry?

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This is fucking ridiculous*

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(410): This is evicking siegelnvs (443): Im sorry? (410): This is fucking ridiculous* http://tfl.nu/9l7k

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guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way

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(443): guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way http://tfl.nu/u63n

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Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore

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(443): Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore http://tfl.nu/frxj

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So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.

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It breaks. We fall.

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I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?

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(443): So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in. (443): It breaks. We fall. (443): I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys? http://tfl.nu/201c

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remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing

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(443): remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing http://tfl.nu/zq5c

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they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"

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(443): they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field" http://tfl.nu/je3y

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How is it? Sketchville?

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cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness

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(443): How is it? Sketchville? (1-443): cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness http://tfl.nu/p48v

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Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.

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(443): Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her. http://tfl.nu/u8d4

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Last Night in Maryland (443)

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