Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.