she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i drank out of a bidet.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow