My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
yeah, it was that bad.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..