WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
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Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
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I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.