Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.