Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.