im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??