Texts From Last Night

Last Night in California (619)

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  (619): View more from California

  Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night

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  How mad was your dog?

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  (619): Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night (323): How mad was your dog? http://tfl.nu/x6ig
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  (619): View more from California

  guys are not supposed to queef...right?

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  (619): guys are not supposed to queef...right? http://tfl.nu/p86m
  Replies (96) Good night (614) Bad night (6910) Order T-Shirt
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  I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.

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  (619): I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face. http://tfl.nu/73xe
  Replies (24) Good night (2394) Bad night (720) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life

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  with a huge shlong

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  massive. i wanna make bitches cry

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  (440): if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life (619): with a huge shlong (440): massive. i wanna make bitches cry http://tfl.nu/imk4
  Replies (39) Good night (5636) Bad night (621)
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  (619): View more from California

  i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs

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  (619): i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs http://tfl.nu/9vkb
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  He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.

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  (619): He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting. http://tfl.nu/l79o
  Replies (58) Good night (811) Bad night (3595)
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  (619): View more from California

  dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"

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  (619): dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober" http://tfl.nu/5gad
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  (619): View more from California

  thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina

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  (619): thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina http://tfl.nu/dtrt
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  (619): View more from California

  3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.

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  (619): 3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact. http://tfl.nu/7spk
  Replies (20) Good night (2323) Bad night (696)
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  (619): View more from California

  pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story

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  (619): pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story http://tfl.nu/02n4
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  (619): View more from California

  Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.

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  (619): Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular. http://tfl.nu/9sri
  Replies (36) Good night (3741) Bad night (442) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?

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  (619): he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear? http://tfl.nu/9u5k
  Replies (111) Good night (1304) Bad night (5376)
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  (619): View more from California

  i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.

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  (619): i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus. http://tfl.nu/t4dv
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  (619): View more from California

  That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...

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  (619): That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop... http://tfl.nu/9vfi
  Replies (3) Good night (2414) Bad night (349) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.

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  (619): I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me. http://tfl.nu/huad
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