i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up