Texts From Last Night

Last Night in California (619)

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  just caught grandpa beating off in the living room

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  (619): just caught grandpa beating off in the living room http://tfl.nu/3g7q
  Replies (128) Good night (8176) Bad night (61715)
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  We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.

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  (619): We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling. http://tfl.nu/8xvz
  Replies (35) Good night (2127) Bad night (17919)
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  He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on

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  (619): He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on http://tfl.nu/aooo
  Replies (37) Good night (1131) Bad night (14736)
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  i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs

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  (619): i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs http://tfl.nu/9vkb
  Replies (83) Good night (705) Bad night (9895)
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  Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"

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  (619): Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!" http://tfl.nu/5vjf
  Replies (35) Good night (5889) Bad night (8435)
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  Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.

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  (619): Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it. http://tfl.nu/cnbd
  Replies (31) Good night (1013) Bad night (7640)
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  When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.

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  (619): When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward. http://tfl.nu/9nr4
  Replies (27) Good night (1101) Bad night (7593)
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  She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something

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  (619): She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something http://tfl.nu/p4oj
  Replies (31) Good night (999) Bad night (7436)
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  guys are not supposed to queef...right?

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  (619): guys are not supposed to queef...right? http://tfl.nu/p86m
  Replies (96) Good night (789) Bad night (7071)
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  I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.

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  (619): I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine. http://tfl.nu/k1fq
  Replies (45) Good night (1208) Bad night (6957)
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  Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.

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  (619): Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen. http://tfl.nu/rhei
  Replies (27) Good night (1576) Bad night (6517)
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  You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything

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  (619): You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything http://tfl.nu/13bs
  Replies (49) Good night (880) Bad night (6395)
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  she peed on how many people?

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  (619): she peed on how many people? http://tfl.nu/sqm0
  Replies (23) Good night (2044) Bad night (5942)
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  I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.

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  (619): I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person. http://tfl.nu/uqdv
  Replies (54) Good night (1839) Bad night (5914)
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  I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.

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  (619): I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue. http://tfl.nu/sfkc
  Replies (56) Good night (817) Bad night (5678)