I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
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I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
she peed on how many people?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
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there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.