I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
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You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
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All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.