I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.