it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....