do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
These 23 People Are Living Shocking Lies
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
The 17 Absolute Worst Divorces Imaginable
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.