I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.