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Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
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