Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
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My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
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Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.