Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?