do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
These 23 Groupies Had The Most Insane Sexual Experiences With Celebs
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
35 Of The Funniest Things People Said While Banging
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"