My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split