hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar