We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
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All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
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Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line