We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line