My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
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The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.