First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me