Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (416)

Last Night in Toronto (416)

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(416): View more from Toronto

Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.

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(416): Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements. http://tfl.nu/qg9u

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Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?

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Better looking than her though please.

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(416): Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with? (416): Better looking than her though please. http://tfl.nu/bks1

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We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?

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(416): We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard? http://tfl.nu/skft

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The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.

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(416): The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife. http://tfl.nu/rajf

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She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.

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(416): She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me. http://tfl.nu/1tg4

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No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.

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(416): No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up. http://tfl.nu/0i7a

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Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit

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(416): Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit http://tfl.nu/uw56

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Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.

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Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!

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(519): Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit. (416): Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?! http://tfl.nu/iavy

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He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.

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(416): He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high. http://tfl.nu/zw5l

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It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM

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From?

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Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...

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(647): It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM (416): From? (647): Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table... http://tfl.nu/hv77

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Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.

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(416): Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck. http://tfl.nu/lba2

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he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...

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(416): he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun... http://tfl.nu/vbhp

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the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night

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(416): the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night http://tfl.nu/0qnk

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that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle

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(416): that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle http://tfl.nu/ax2q

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I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on

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(416): I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on http://tfl.nu/c1eq

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Last Night in Toronto (416)

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