I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
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But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
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I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.