Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
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Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
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No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.