We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
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I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
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I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.