I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.