I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
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please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.