There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.