Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
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He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
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I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.