Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
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I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
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I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.