He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday