i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
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ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you