he seriously made his penis a facebook.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
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i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
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A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.