Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
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honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
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The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.