You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
7 Great Movies – with Drinking Games that Make them Even Better
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
15 Things You’ll Miss About College – and 7 Things You Definitely Won’t
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
There is a Children’s Book About Donald Trump’s Hair, and it’s as Weird as You’d Expect It to Be