Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.