my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.