Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.