too bad you live with your parents still
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Lets date for the summer
Dont love me in September.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed