True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.