She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
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The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
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The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.