Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.