We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.