She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
she was so not down for the gang bang
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.