She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
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she was so not down for the gang bang
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
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He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.